If it ain’t love

Taeyeon thinks she can’t live without Tiffany.  It’s not just a mindset or an opinion – she thinks about it a lot.

When she’s watching Tiffany making a cup of coffee, doing a little dance while she’s cooking, flicking the page of a book, curling up in front of the TV with a blanket leaving just enough space for Taeyeon to join her and no one else.

She thinks about it when she has to spend days and nights away from Tiffany, just herself on her own waiting for Tiffany to come back like her friends and family barely register in her mind.

It’s something she hasn’t reached a conclusion about. It’s not a train of thought that she’s developing with pros and cons and details and examples. It just is.

She thinks about what would happen if Tiffany suddenly wasn’t there. If she didn’t come home one day like she’s supposed to. Would anything else happen? Those things she barely notices; the mail arriving, her car starting, the neighbours having a party on a Friday night. Nothing else would happen if Taeyeon had no Tiffany as part of her life.

She doesn’t feel any particular way about it. Seeing Tiffang tugs at her heart the same way her chest pulls itself tight when she doesn’t see Tiffany. It’s not a debate between one side or the other. It’s a fact, an organ of her body reacting like it’s natural.

Taeyeon thinks she can’t live without Tiffany as they share their bed in the middle of the night and she can see the curve of Tiffany’s cheek because there’s a full moon outside. She feels it, as she thinks about the things they say to each other every day. I love you, when we’re old, something to laugh about for decades, family, soul, heart. They said some of those things today, some last week, some ten years ago, and she’ll say them again and again because she won’t live without Tiffany.

It’s a fact, like the heart is an organ that they both have, a shared connection. Taeyeon can’t live without Tiffany and she doesn’t have to because they’re living a life together.


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